Young Girl, You're Out of Your Mind
by Permanent Rose
Summary: Emma cannot stop thinking about Will. Ever. So when he comes to ask for her advice when Rachel develops a crush on him, Emma must find a practical, objective way for him to deal with the problem. Set during Ballad


_A/N: Hey everyone. This was a lot of fun to write--its something I haven't tried before. Basically, it's told from Emma's POV, but it's not told like a typical narrative. I just wrote her thoughts--which means there's no he says/she says or description of what's going on. You have to follow the story by following Emma's thoughts. I hope its not too confusing. It takes place during Ballad, as I mentioned in my summary, so a lot of the dialogue is taken straight from the show--I'm not trying to take credit for it. _

_Oh, and just to warn you, Emma's a bit OOC, but it makes the story more entertaining. _

_I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Dang it. I'm late, I'm late. This is why I hate taking my watch in to get new batteries. Even just one minute's going to throw everything off. You're probably already in your classroom, and now I won't be able to "bump" into until lunch. And gosh, Will, a morning without you...

You know it's not easy for me to come to think school everyday—this germ pit is one of the least delectable places I can think of. But you're here. That's the one redeeming quality about this bacteria infested prison. Did you know that, Will? Did you know that the main reason I drag my body out of bed each day is because I have the hope of seeing you?

That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?

Yes, but I can hardly help it. Gosh, Will, every time I try _not_ to think of you, you end up invading my thoughts even more.

And yes, I admit I have a problem. In fact, I admit I have a lot of issues. And I probably need professional help.

But honestly, I don't think professional help would do me much good. Because that would mean that I would have to admit that I need to stop thinking about you...

Is it terrible that I don't want to?

Gosh, Will, I can't imagine going through my day without thinking about you. You're my drive, the only thing that keeps me going. You're the only thing that can take my mind off all the other messes in my life. And, Will, without you, I don't think I'd be able to breathe.

7:59.

Is that the right time? How much did that stupid, stupid man at the clock shop change my watch? Can I still catch you? You're usually here precisely at eight. Do you do that on purpose? Do you plan it that way? Or does it just happen that way?

To me, you see like a pretty spontaneous, go-with-the-flow kind of guy. But of course, that is only my preconceived perception of you, brought on by roughly two and a half years of constant observance. I feel like I have a pretty good idea about the guy you are—gosh, every time you enter my fantasies, I like to think I have your exact words and actions down to a tee. But of course I can never be sure of exactly what it is that you're beautiful mind is thinking...

Do you know how many questions I would ask you if I got the chance? Gosh, I'm interested in every detail of your life, like what kind of toothpaste you use or if you wear bedroom slippers when you lounge around the house—all those things I will never be able to observe from the two hours or less that we see of each other during the day.

8:00.

Damn it, damn it, damn it. Don't step on that gum—though it's almost worth if you'd take the time to scrap it off like you did earlier this year. On October 7th. Gosh, how terrible is it that I remember that?

Alright, alright. Almost there.

There you are. Breathe, Emma, breathe. No need to get your pulse racing.

"Hi, Emma."

Why are your eyebrows knitting together like that? Like there's something on your mind? If you want to talk, I'm here to listen. God, you are cute, even when you look preoccupied.

"Hey, Will. Is everything okay?"

Please be okay. Or don't be okay. Because then that gives me an excuse to talk to you. Damn it, that's so awful, Emma. Of course, I want you to be alright…

"Actually, there's something I want to discuss with you, if that's okay…" Of course it's okay. In fact, I'm begging you to. Gosh, Will, if only you knew that my schedule frees up completely the moment you come into the picture… "Would you mind if I stopped by your office a little later today?"

"Of course, Will, stop by anytime. I'll be glad to help you out with, um, well, whatever you need to, um, sort out."

Gosh, that sounded intelligent. I can form a perfectly coherent sentence, really, but I understand if you want to talk to someone else now seeing as—

"Thanks, Emma. I really appreciate it. I'll see you soon."

My God you have beautiful eyes, especially when you're smiling at me like that.

"Yeah, see you soon."

Breathe. Stop hyperventilating; we're just going to have a purely platonic discussion. No need to lose it…

Who am I kidding? I'd call this a major success. I didn't even have to go out of my way or formulate some ridiculous story and you're coming to talk to me on your own accord.

Will, I just love days like these.

Okay, what's on my agenda today?

Talking to you.

Stop it, Emma. I really need to get a grip. Where's that file that Principal Figgins dropped off yesterday—there is it. Gosh, scheduling papers already? It's not even halfway through the year yet.

Gosh, I can't concentrate. Is it seriously only 8:05? Damn it, Emma, you need a life.

"Miss Pillsbury?"

Is that you already? No, don't be stupid, you would call me by my first name, and since when have I gotten your voice confused with—

"Rachel." Gosh, I really must be delusional. "What can I do for you?"

"I know it's early, but since I have a study hall this period, I thought I'd come down to chat about scheduling."

I guess there is a reason Figgins delivered these so early…

"Rachel, the scheduling assembly isn't even for another two months, and you don't need to even have your courses picked until early March. I actually just got the scheduling information this morning, so I haven't even had a chance to look through it myself."

Gosh, Rachel really is a nut. But then again, look who's talking.

"I know, Miss Pillsbury, but I really just want to make sure I get a spot in Spanish II…"

Spanish. That's what you teach. Did you know that over the past summer, I purchased the Rosetta Stone program so I could learn Spanish in case you ever need help grading papers? If there's one thing I would change about high school, I would've taken Spanish instead of French.

"Miss Pillsbury?"

Gosh, Rachel has really big teeth. And why is she smiling at me like that? And bating her eyelashes? She must want something…but what did she just ask me? I really have to stop zoning out when someone other than you is talking to me…

"You know what Rachel, now's not really a good time to be discussing this. Why don't we make an appointment for a later time, and for the time being just enjoy your freshmen year instead of planning for next year?"

Rachel, only you would sigh this dramatically over a topic this trivial.

"Goodbye, Rachel."

I'll have to clean that door knob. Seriously, Rachel, don't wipe your nose with your bare hand. And then touch my door.

"Bye, Miss Pillsbury, I'll be down to set up an appointment with in the next few days."

The next few days? I meant about five months from now, but honestly, I have more important things on my mind at the moment.

Like that filthy door knob.

And the fact that _you_ might walk into my office at any moment. Seriously, why didn't I ask for a specific time? Will, I honestly think I'm going a little bit crazy…

Was that a knock? Or am I just imagining things? Gosh, take a deep breath already. Smooth your skirt, fix your hair—

"Hey, Will, come on in."

It's you!

It's you, it's you, it's you!

"Now's not a bad time, is it?"

Breathe. Smile. Offer him a seat. Don't freak out. Don't say anything stupid.

"Of course not. Right now is perfect for me...so what's on your mind?"

It is just so dang cute when you bite your lip like that. And my god, those eyes. Is it terrible how adorable I think you are when you look upset.

Of course that's terrible. I need to get a grip. You're my colleague, and you're here to ask for your advice, not to have some manic fawn over you…

"Look at what Rachel gave me after class this morning."

Wow, that's a really nice tie. It must have cost her a lot…I wonder how much time she spent picking that out…now Rachel's visit makes sense...

Dang, is that a spot on the window? Windex, Windex, where did I put the Windex? Honestly, I can't think straight with you in the same room as me…

"It's happening…again. It always starts with a novelty gift."

"Well you can't really blame her, Will. If we were going to rank crush worthy teachers at this school, you'd be number one with a bullet."

Damn it. Did I just say that out loud? Damn it, damn it, damn it. I really need to think before I just blurt out things like this.

Don't look at me like that. God, I really messed up. Say something. You're just like any other person—I didn't go through years of schools just to lose my train of thought when an attractive—make that very attractive—man needs my advice.

"Uh, um, well, I, um when this all start with Rachel?"

Yes, that's it. Get the crux of them problem. I can do this. Will, I can do this for you. You came to me for advice and that's just what I'm going to give you.

"We sang a duet in Glee Club—Endless Love."

Seriously, Will? What were you thinking? Of course singing Endless Love with you is going to sweep her off her feet. I mean, just thinking about how I would've reacted if _I _had been the one to sing with you…

"Okay, in hindsight, that was probably a mistake."

Dang it, Will, why do you have to be so cute? Do you realize how hard you're making it to be professional?

"Yeah, I can't handle going through this again…"

Again? So Rachel's done this before? Or someone else? Who else is vying for you attention. Gosh, stop! Stop getting so possessive.

You're not mine.

"Sorry, going through, um, going through what again?"

But I wish you were.

"Have I ever told you about—" What is that heavy sigh for? "Susie Pepper before?"

Susie Pepper, Susie Pepper…the name sounds familiar. Should I know her?

"Susie Pepper wasn't the first school girl crush, but she was the hardest."

This should not feel like a punch to the stomach. Of course it would only be natural that any girl with a pair of eyes would fawn over you.

"It happened about two years ago, before you were a teacher here."

Do you know how much I hate it when you bring up the time before I came here? It just reminds me about all my life that I wasted before I knew you…It makes me feel…incomplete, somehow, just thinking about that time before our paths crossed. And it makes me incredibly jealous to know that other people were here, having the opportunity to interact with you everyday.

"Susie was…unique."

Unique? You say it like it's a bad thing. Do you think I'm unique? Damn, are you going to bunch me into a group with Susie and Rachel now?

"It started out the same way it's happening with Rachel. One day after class, she gave me a neatly wrapped present—a pair of socks with a pepper pattern. So I could think of her every time I wore them. I thought it would burn out like the others, but it only got worse."

Worse? Gosh, why do I suddenly feel like I'm going to vomit?

"She started calling my house—and to this day I still don't know how she got my phone number. She'd call after school to ask for help with her Spanish homework, which was freaky enough, but then she started calling at odd hours of the night. And one night, Terri just had enough. She grabbed the phone from me, threatened to murder Susie, and accused me of not being able to handle anything. But Terri was right, or, so I thought. I decided to be honest with Susie, face this head on…"

Can you tell my heart's beating about ten times faster than usual? Gosh, I hope not. She sounds like a complete psycho, but then, what's that saying about me, Will? I may not do anything wild and obvious to catch your attention, but I know for a fact that I think about you just as much, if not more, than Susie Pepper ever did.

"Kay, how'd that go?"

Oh no. I know that look. Please tell me it wasn't something too drastic.

"I mentioned Susie was unique, right?" Yes you did. "Well, she had quite a fascination with her namesake—peppers. I don't even know where she found half of the pepper items she did—shirts, bandanas, key chains. The weirdest though, was her collection of real peppers from around the world. She'd keep them in jars—every week she would bring in one to show me and tell me more about this specific pepper than any person should know. It just so happened that the one she had brought in the week I told her to back off was the worst one—One that was hardly even meant for comsumption--it was the world's hottest pepper. She had it shipped from Sinaloa, Mexico."

"Oh, gosh, what happened?"

Oh my Lord, can you die from eating a pepper? I don't remember hearing anything about a student dying from pepper consumption at McKinley, but then maybe it's not a well known story. Oh, please, Will, tell me it didn't kill her…

"Well the ambulance arrived just in time. The pepper burned holes in her esophagus, and was in a medically induced coma for three days. That's why I can't just tell Rachel to back off. These girls are too fragile…"

Too fragile. You're right. _We _are too fragile. Will, I can't believe I'm siding with Rachel—and even Susie Pepper on this, but you're right. We are much too fragile, and one wrong step, just like with Susie, could crush us, like a shoe coming down to hard on an unsuspecting ant.

Gosh, Will, I don't what to tell you to do. Rachel's crush certainly can't go on like this—at least you're able to catch the signs early on now. But what if it were me? Will, what if you were telling _me _that you could ever be with me? Ever.

Well, I do know it's highly improbable. You are a married man after all. But a girl can dream. I can still dream. And can't Rachel still dream?

But of course, we have to think of you. You, darling, darling, Will, who cannot help it that you are easily the most attractive male in this school. You, who are happily married and would just like to worry about your life, not about a fawning group of fan girls who can't get off your back.

So it is only fair that we give that to you—and if we truly, truly love you the way we claim to, we would give you your space. And we would give up our own dreams to see you happy.

Gosh, Will, if only you knew this is just as hard for us as it is for you…

"Wow, okay. How 'bout this, why don't you take your own advice—right, do what you told the kids to do. If you're—if you're feeling awkward about telling Rachel how you feel, why don't, you know, um, sing it to her. Let her down gently—and don't wear that tie."

There, that got a little smile from you. At least one of us is smiling. But seriously, Will, for your and Rachel's sake, I think this is the best solution.

"Thanks so much, Emma. Truly, you always do have the best ideas. I'll try to come up with something tonight—and when I do confront her, would you, um, mind being in the room with us so I don't, uh, have to do this alone?"

You are adorable when you stutter like that. "Of course, Will. I'll be there. You know I support you one hundred percent."

And you should be cringing right now, realizing that I am no better than Rachel or Susie and that you should be worrying about getting _me _off your back as well. Not smiling at me with those warm brown eyes and those adorable dimples…

"I'll see you later, Emma. Thanks again for all the advice. It means a lot to me."

It means a lot to me too—that you choose me above everyone else to come to advice for. "Bye, Will. Let me know what you come up with."

"Bye, Emma."

You know, you're the only who can touch my door knob without me wiping it down afterward.

Gosh, fake smiling like that hurts. Because all I want to do is cry right now.

Will, I don't want to be like those annoying school crushes you're desperately trying to get rid of. And I want to say I'm not, but I'm _exactly _like those girls, if not worse. It's understandable for them, so young and passionate, to develop a fleeting crush like this. But for me, a grown women who understands so much more of the world than they do, to be fawning over you in the exact same way?

Don't cry, don't cry.

Believe it or not, Will, I've never had a movie star crush. I've always thought it was absurd how people could go so gaga over famous people. But now I'm starting to understand how they feel. If I could get a life size cut of any person in the world, I would choose you in a heartbeat.

Gosh, Will, if you could see my thoughts—which thankfully, you cannot—you'd think I was crazy.

I am crazy.

Will, I just don't know what to do anymore. I want you so much that it hurts.

And how insane is it that I will wait for you?

* * *

_A/N: For now, this is just a one shot, but I would consider writing a second chapter that follows Emma's thoughts when Will sings to Rachel. But that depends on the feedback you guys give me. I honestly don't know how you are going to react to this style of writing, so press that lovely review button at the bottom of the page and let me know what you think (:_

_Oh, and honestly, how hard was it to follow?_


End file.
